• Mama Brag #1

    ​This is Mama Brag #1 because honestly I’m sure there will be more. Sorry not sorry — this is my blog about my kid. Anyway, it amazes me how quickly Leon is learning. ​​Just a few minutes ago, he brought me his shoes (he loves going outside). I told him that we could put his shoes on, but I reminded him that socks go on his feet first. I asked him to bring me his socks  (mostly because I’m lazy) and pointed in the general direction of them, and he actually brought them to me! It just showed how much he’s really understanding — he knows that socks and shoes…

  • All the Feels

    I grew up not really speaking much about my feelings and I’ve really honed in on those skills over the past decade, so it’s become really important to me to make sure Leon has the skills and knows that it’s okay to speak his feelings. (Hypermasculinity ain’t a good look, yo.) ​Therefore, according to yours truly, 2018 is the Year of the Feelings in our household. Leon’s favorite bedtime book, Tough Guys ​Have Feelings Too, has probably more scotch tape than actual paper at this point, and he occasionally calms down from a tantrum just by hearing me recite the first few lines. That said, we’ve been dealing with some…

  • ‘Twas the Night Before Surgery

    Leon got his clearance from the cardiologist this morning. With exactly 12 hours until his first time under anesthesia, my feelings about everything have only amplified. I’m nervous for the uncertainty of surgery, I’m relieved that he’ll no longer feel constant pressure, I’m excited for him to hear clearly for the first time. I also feel so much love and adoration for such a small human. He drives me crazy sometimes when he flings his food on the floor or he barrel rolls out of a diaper change and runs through the house naked, but he also pulls on my heartstrings — he crawls in my lap in the morning…

  • Leon’s First ENT Appointment

    ​​Now that Leon’s recovered from his fourth ear infection since November, I asked his pediatrician for a referral to an otolaryngologist. We started our appointment this morning with a hearing test; Leon and I sat in a soundproof room with speakers in opposite corners, and I was instructed to stay still so I didn’t bias the test. Through the speakers, the audiologist called Leon’s name and played high-pitched beeps at low volume; when Leon turned his head to look at the source, she played a video of a dancing toy to serve as positive reinforcement. I was so tempted to congratulate him when he correctly turned his head to the…

  • Again?

    Leon’s sick. Again. At first we thought it was just a fever from the one-year vaccines he got last week. But a couple mornings ago, he just wanted to lay on me. I held him like a newborn (which he usually hates nowadays), and he just stared off into space for 15 or 20 minutes. I didn’t know what was happening (was he having a seizure?); it was so unusual for him to be so calm and still that I was honestly afraid he’d just stop breathing right there. I haven’t been that afraid for his health since we left the NICU. I called the doctor immediately, and that afternoon…

  • I’m. So. Done.

    I reached my goal, and now I’m done. When Leon was born, I wanted to try breastfeeding for one month. I didn’t anticipate being able to breastfeed at all since I had read so much about how difficult it was, but the nurses in the hospital were helpful and encouraged trying. I was pretty shocked we survived the first few weeks, so I pushed our goal out to three months. Then six months. Then a year. But I recently realized breastfeeding was no longer enjoyable to me and I was looking forward to the day I would wean. I battled so much momguilt after that realization because I know that…

  • A Letter to My Son

    To my sweet boy, A year ago today, after 19 hours of labor ending with an emergency c-section, I met the baby who made it all worth it. In just 365 days since, you have taught me how to love unconditionally and how to enjoy the “little” moments. This past year has been the most enjoyable year of my life. I watched this flailing newbie grow into a beautiful, happy, curious boy who likes chewing on his socks and dances to The Office theme song EVERY time. I’ll never get tired of popping into your classroom at daycare and seeing your face light up when you notice me. I love…

  • Goodbye, Six

    Six bit Leon yesterday. She was laying on the floor where he was playing. Minh and I were on my computers, and I turned my head in time to see Six growl and snap at Leon. She has arthritis and has had trouble walking lately, so we think Leon just touched her in a way that hurt her. I’m still shocked — I’ve never seen her get aggressive in almost 7 years of knowing her. But old age and pain must have changed her personality to some extent, but even still she seemed to know immediately that she made a mistake. Leon cried but could be consoled easily. I cried…

  • Croup is Crap

    Leon’s been having such a hard time lately with the festering cesspool of disease and pestilence daycare. The past few months it seems like he gets over an illness only to get sick again a few days later. On Thursday morning when I nursed my walking petri dish son, he was making a weird honking sound; sometimes he just needs to cough and doesn’t actually do it until he tries to talk, so I didn’t think much of it, especially since he wasn’t acting weird. I was wrapping up a meeting at work that morning when I got a call from daycare (shoutout to that moment of dread when you…

  • First Steps

    It’s been a minute since I’ve last posted (homeslice has gotten me sick twice in the past three weeks #ThanksLeon), and this little man has changed so much recently! He took his first steps about a week ago. He’s only taken a step once since (that I’ve seen), but I’m sure he’ll be running around before we’re ready no matter what. He can stand for about 5-10 seconds at a time, and he can cruise furniture and walk around using only one hand for balance. Despite the fact that I bought a fuzzy stuffed monkey ages ago to be his lovey, I guess his socks have filled the role. He…