The First Wait

Funny thing, bodies are. Turns out I did ovulate this month, and it happened to be the day before my super-emo post about how my body betrayed me. I was actually experiencing a slow ovulation rise. Ha!

So now that that hurdle is out of the way, my next concern was whether or not I conceived this month. I spent the past few days slightly worried about how I’ll react if this isn’t our month, but in the car on my ride home tonight, I found some sort of enlightenment. I was thinking about how crazy it is that 15 years from now I’ll have a child. I don’t know how old that child will be in 15 years or how that child will have been conceived, but I will have a child. It won’t matter that we had to wait two or three extra months for that child to come; in fact, it might make his/her appearance even more significant.

Will I be disappointed if this isn’t our month? Of course. Will I be angry or sad or frustrated or worried? Probably. But looking at it from a “bigger picture” standpoint, the next opportunity is just a couple weeks away.

Besides, once this wait is over, it’s just another wait for the first doctor’s appointment, the first ultrasound, the first heartbeat, the first kick, etc. Why not stop and enjoy not knowing for a second?

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